Times Are Changing

Relationships and now

Change is a funny thing. It’s a simple word that means to transform or convert. The literal term is easy enough, but the figurative is a little more tricky. I can change my hair style, change my clothes and yes I can myself change a tire. I can also change my attitude, my morals, my values, the most core parts of myself. As a society values, morals and who we are as a whole has changed drastically. This past month my roommate and I started watching the hit TV show Mad Men. A show set in the 1960’s. While it mostly takes part in an advertising agency, it is so much more. It’s about relationships between men, women, man and wife, boss and secretary, woman’s role, man’s role and so on. I began to wonder, “why are so many people obsessed with this show? And why am I one of them now?”

A fair question if you ask me. I’ve always thought that I would do well in the 1950-1960’s era. I love the clothes, attitudes and way of life. My one contingency on this is a woman’s role in the work place and at home. Now don’t get me wrong, I wouldn’t mind Don Draper taking me over the desk, but I would mind being thought of as a baby and casserole making machine. While this show is on the cusp of this ideal, it still shows mostly woman who just put up with men thinking they are just objects. It’s such a different concept that it’s intriguing to us. The cat and mouse games of men and women. The fact the the biggest fear for most women was to be a divorcee with kids. That the American Dream was the norm and single parent kids with working moms was the the exception.

When I was five I told a boy I liked him. He didn’t reciprocate so I punched him. When I was 16 and told a boy I liked him and he said he liked me too. Names were drawn on notebooks and silly daydreams of running through fields would go through my mind. When I was 22 I thought I was in love with a boy and pretty much bent over backwards to show that I could be “the perfect girl”. Someone he would want to marry and have kids with. The problem with that is, it wasn’t me. Growing up I always wanted to get married and have children. Being a wife and mom is the greatest job you can have. But I need things on the side. Not Don Draper side dishes, but hobbies, friends and a career.

I was brought up with the “you can do anything and be whoever you want” attitude. I had a Fisher Price doctor’s kit but I also had a kitchenette set. It wasn’t until this last year that I saw how much my relationships and myself have changed over the last five years or so. I’m becoming a big girl with a job and everything. I’m beginning to figure out what I want in life. I dated a boy last year and fit my life to that relationship and that didn’t work out because my life couldn’t be based around that relationship anymore. Now I’m dating someone where we’re both shaping our relationship around our lives. We are apart of each other’s lives, not a part of each other’s lives. I have to be honest, it’s a really nice change.

Relationships, values, morals, men, women, work places, society, it all changes. We all change either collectively or individually. There’s nothing wrong with that. Some change is good. Some change is hella scary and some change is needed. It’s what we do with this change that makes the difference. It’s when we figure out if this is something we need and want in life. Change isn’t a bad thing, it’s part of growing as a person. How have you changed? Has it been welcomed or a fight from the beginning?

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  1. * Elisa says:

    Change is ALWAYS good, even if it ends up being a bad change. As long as you learn from it. Good change is, of course, optimal. What is most important is knowing who you are, and changing on your own terms rather than someone else’s.

    | Reply Posted 12 years ago

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